Confessions and Love
by Bremol
Summary: Hazel finally tells Peter what happened to her when she was twelve and with her confession learns a few truths about her husband.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I recently watched the ITV series Vera and fell in love with Brenda Blethyn's work. She's an amazing actress and I wanted to see more things that she'd been in. In my search I came across Between the Sheets. Well, hot dang! Not only does she show that older actresses can be sexy, but she's amazing in one of the scenes where her character reveals something about her past. If you haven't seen it, and you're a fan of her work, look it up on youtube (and yes, the series as a whole has a few issues but I mainly watched for Brenda).**

 **Anyway, this is sort of a what happens after. I started it as a one-shot but it kept going until it became a two-shot.**

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Lying curled up against his body, Hazel drifted in and out of sleep as Peter's hand gently caressed over her skin. He'd come to bed naked, wanting her to take off her negligee, but not demanding anything other than holding her close and touching her. Seeing the truth in his eyes, she'd done as he asked and stripped herself bare, lying down on her side when he wrapped his body around hers.

He'd changed since they'd went to therapy.

So had she.

She enjoyed his touch now, well, most of the time.

There was still the nagging feeling of unease when he'd touch the back of her thighs.

She knew that he felt her tense when his hands would wander to that area, and she was grateful that he moved on and never asked why, always hoping that he still believed the reason she'd given when they had a group session with Alona.

"Peter," she whispered, suddenly realizing that she had to tell him the truth, praying that he loved her as much as he said he did.

"Yes, Love?"

Clasping his hand, she pulled his arm around her. "There's," she started then stopped.

"What is it, Love? Have I done summat?"

Swallowing hard, she shook her head and held his hand tighter to her. "No. I've summat I need to tell ya."

Hearing something in her voice, Peter pulled her closer to him and draped a leg over hers. "What is it then?"

"It's the real reason I don't like you touching the back of me thighs."

"I thought you said it was because of," he started but stopped when she shook her head.

"I lied. I was protecting meself."

"Protecting? Hazel," he said her name and gently nudged her to turn over.

"No," she murmured, refusing to move. "If I look at you, I'll lose me nerve."

Peter could feel his heart begin to race, wondering what his wife was about to tell him that was so bad she couldn't face him.

"I was twelve and in the park with me sisters and some friends. We were playing rounders and the ball went into the bushes. I ran after it. I," her voice broke and she felt Peter pulling her trembling body closer to his, his arm tightening its embrace. "There was a man," she continued in a quiet voice. "He grabbed me and slid his hand up me thighs…then," she stopped when she felt Peter pull away. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she sat up and slipped from the bed. "I shouldn't have," she tried then stopped to stifle a sob. "I'll go."

Peter, confused by her movement and words, reached out and clasped his hand around her wrist. "No."

Turning to look at him, Hazel saw the tears on his cheeks, the anger in his eyes. "No, what?"

"Come back here," he whispered and gently tugged her toward him.

Confused, Hazel did as he asked and slid back into the bed. "What is it? I know what ya must think of me now. It's just…I wanted you to understand why I never," his finger on her lips stopped her.

"No," he shook his head. "My god, Love. I'm so sorry," he whispered and pulled her across his thighs. "So sorry," he whispered again, his lips against her hair. "Why didn't ya tell me before?"

"Would you have married me if you'd known I was soiled?"

"Soiled? Hazel, Love, no." Lifting her face so that she was looking at him, he gently caressed her cheek. "Your bloody mother shamed you." It wasn't a question, it was statement of fact. He'd always hated the insufferable cow.

Hazel nodded. "When I felt his hands between me legs, I screamed and he ran off. Me sisters took me home. Me mother was hysterical and me father called the police. She only cared if I was still a virgin or…not," her voice broke. "And I proved how right she was about me when I got pregnant before we were married."

"No, she was wrong. But Hazel…why did you give in to me if you felt the way you did about sex?"

"You noticed me. I loved the way I felt when we were together, when you were holding me. I thought if I didn't give you what you wanted, you would go somewhere else."

"Which is exactly what I did after we were married and the kids came along…after our anniversary when you stopped letting me touch you." He sighed and let his forehead bump against hers. "How did you know about the affairs?"

"The same way I know that you fell for one of them. You stopped trying to touch me, to be with me."

"I'm sorry. I never stopped loving you. You have to know that."

She nodded…she believed him no matter how crazy it might make her. "How many?"

Peter wanted to lie, but knew that he had to tell the truth. "You know what the club is now. There've been a few flings, but no one for a few years now."

"But there was one that wasn't a fling," she whispered. "Why did you stop seeing her?"

"Yes, there was one. She was the only one for two and a half years. I stopped the affair because she wanted more than I was willing to give."

Looking up at him, Hazel studied his face and realized what he wasn't saying. "She had a baby."

He hesitated, then sighed. "Yes. A boy."

Hazel whispered, "You have another son. How old?"

"He's five."

"Why didn't you divorce me? You fell in love with her, I wouldn't have been much of a fighter if you had asked for a divorce. Do you know him? Does he know you?" she asked, wondering why in the world the man holding her hadn't just left her and gone to be with a woman he clearly cared for…who had given him the attention he'd been lacking from her.

"I did care for her, more than I should have, really. But I love ya. Always have done. And no, I don't know him and he has no idea who his father is." Peter sighed. "Can ya forgive me?"

"I was to blame," she whispered as she caressed his face. "I know that you saw me with Steve, so I know that you realized where I'd been those missing four days."

"Alona tried to tell me without giving anything you said to her away," he whispered, his fingers tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I saw how tender you were with him, the way you held his face, and I just knew."

Lifting a hand, Hazel cupped his cheek. "I'm sorry that it hurt you, but he helped me."

"I wasn't hurt, I didn't have a right to be, did I?" he asked and shrugged. "I was just a bit surprised. Mostly I'm grateful."

Hazel sighed as she settled her head on his shoulder. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"No, Love, but why don't you throw some pillows on the floor in front of the fire and settle yourself down there, hmm?"

Sitting up, Hazel cocked her head and studied her husband a moment. He'd taken her short affair better than she'd thought he would and now he wanted her lay down on the floor. What was he up to? Shrugging, she moved off the bed and threw some of the small pillows down then did as he asked and waited.

Peter sat watching Hazel for a moment, marveling at how beautiful she was in the firelight. His hands were fairly itching to touch her, the pads of his fingers remembering the silkiness of her skin. She was glorious and he'd nearly lost her.

What a fool.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: stuff and nonsense goes here...**

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"Peter?" Hazel whispered a few moments later when she felt him kneel beside her. "What ya do…" she started then moaned when his warm hands slicked over her shoulders.

"The scent reminded me of you," he whispered beside her ear as he gently massaged her back, the oil on his hands making her skin glisten in the orange glow of the firelight.

Hazel felt herself blush at his praise of her scent, knowing that she wasn't wearing anything like perfume or heavily scented skin crème. His hands were moving over her more fluidly than they had any other time they'd done this, and she wondered how he'd learned to do a better job.

"I have a friend who is very good at this sort of thing. I had him show me how to not be such a bumbling fool. I wanted to please you," he told her as if answering her thoughts.

"Mmm," she murmured as she stared into the fire, her body relaxing under Peter's gentle touch. She could hear herself moaning when his hands moved to her bottom, then her heart sped up, knowing what was coming next.

But it never came.

His hands moved to her calves, never touching her thighs, keeping her from tensing and ruining the calm he'd created for her. Tears pooled and rolled down her cheeks as she turned over and pulled Peter against her. "I love ya," she breathed.

Thumbing away her tears, Peter pressed kisses to her nose then lips. "Why the tears, Love?"

"Because you listened," she whispered.

"I nearly lost ya, I'm going to do anything I have to do to make sure it never happens again. I'm your husband, I'm the one who should be pleasurin' ya, not someone else."

Hazel hummed when his hand slowly moved over her ribs, tracing the dip of her waist, the curve of her hip. When his hand skimmed over her stomach, she reached down and covered it with her own. "Here," she whispered as she moved their hands down until they were between her thighs. "Touch me here."

Holding her gaze, Peter held his hand still. "Are ya sure, Love?"

Nodding, she moved his hand with hers, showing him what she wanted – what she needed. When Peter's hand moved on its own in a way that made her moan, Hazel lifted her hands and tangled her fingers in his hair. Letting her eyes close, she arched into his touch, marveling at how easy it all seemed to be now, how glorious this felt.

Peter watched his wife, felt his own body reacting to the way hers was moving with each touch of his fingers in a particular spot. He'd never heard her make the sounds she was making now, sounds that were sure to drive him just a bit mad before this was over.

"Just there, Peter." Hazel whispered, her breath catching when his finger hit just the right spot. She could feel the orgasm building and spreading through her just like the other times she'd given herself one. This time was different, though. Maybe it was because Peter was the one touching her, or maybe it was because she'd been relaxed, all she knew was that it felt more powerful than before. "Peter!"

Peter smiled in satisfaction at the cry of his name. Pressing his mouth to her breast, he kissed his way up to whisper in her ear, "You're beautiful," before tracing the soft shell with his tongue.

Taking several deep breaths, Hazel opened her eyes and smiled up at the satisfied man watching her. "What?"

"You're beautiful."

"You said that."

"I'll say it again and again because it's the truth."

Shaking her head, Hazel lifted a hand and pulled his head down to her. "Kiss me."

Doing as she asked, Peter moved his lips against hers slowly, carefully maneuvering himself until his lower body was resting in the cradle of her thighs. She felt so good beneath him, her soft skin pressed against his. Pulling from the kiss, he held her gaze as he eased inside the welcoming heat of her body.

"Mmm." Hazel hummed as she skimmed her hand from his neck to his shoulder, the other hand moving to rest on his hip. "I like that."

Peter couldn't help but chuckle a bit. He didn't need her to say the words, the way her body was moving, the whimpers and moans, all told him exactly how much she liked what he was doing.

Digging her nails into one of his buttocks, Hazel looked at him, an eyebrow arched. "What ya laughin' at?"

"You," he answered then pressed a kiss to her lips. "The sounds you're making tell me everything I need to know."

Blushing, she looked down. "I didn't know I would be so…" she paused, searching for the right word.

"Vocal," he supplied. "I like the sounds you're making. They," he leaned down. "turn me on," he finished the rest in her ear.

"Peter," she scolded, her breath catching when he moved his hips.

Moving slowly, Peter watched her eyes, marveling at the way they seemed to darken. How had he never noticed that before? Had he really been such a lousy lover? Pausing his movements, he lifted a hand to caress her face. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" Hazel asked, a look of puzzlement on her face.

"For being such a lousy husband. I," he sighed. "I was treating you like me father treated me mother. He didn't care about her, what she needed. I was the same way. Just thought about meself and what you weren't giving me."

Lifting her legs, Hazel wrapped them over his thighs before carefully pushing herself up to touch her lips to his. "Shh. You haven't treated me like your father treated your mother, at least in most things. You're fixing what was wrong, he never tried." Nudging him with a foot, she smiled when he nipped at her lip. "Let it all go. Just make love to me."

Resting on his arms, Peter covered her mouth with his then began to move against her once more, giving her what she'd asked. Pulling out of the kiss when he needed air, he stared down at her, his body reacting to her whimpers. He wanted to draw this out, not rush it – not be the man he'd always been before – but his arousal was slowly taking over his control.

Hazel could feel another orgasm building as her body moved with Peter's. Her mind was growing hazy and all she could focus on was the pleasure of his body moving in and against hers. The words she had said to Alona days ago, echoed in her head, " _…his body next to mine…and I wanted to feel Peter's flesh on my flesh…to feel him inside me,_ " just before she cried out, her fingernails digging into Peter's shoulders.

Peter thrust his hips a few more times then stilled, his forehead dropping and resting against Hazel's. He could feel her panting beneath him trying to catch her breath. Opening his eyes, he found her watching him, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. "What is it, Love?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Hazel caressed the hair from his forehead. "I don't know. Just the release, I suppose. Hold me."

Moving off her, Peter laid on his side then nudged Hazel to spoon her body into his. Holding her as tight as possible, he pressed a kiss to her head. "Better?"

"Mmm," she hummed. "Peter?"

"Yes, Love?"

"Will you take me to Bali?"

Peter smiled and gave her a gentle squeeze. "I would love to."


End file.
